Your Beautiful Tears
by Andrea is cute
Summary: Soujiro, the infamous Tenken. Misao, young leader of the Oniwabanshuu. When Seta Soujiro begins to live under the roof of the Aoiya, how can Misao ever forgive him for his crimes? And how will Aoshi respond...
1. If I hadn’t known you from before…

Author's Note: This is totally my first fanfic ever. EVER. Wow. A little about me. I am only part fangirl. I get most terms wrong. Sorry! I will put as much humor in this fic as I can, but this is mostly a waff ficcie. Please review. You have no idea how nervous I am. I am going to wet myself.

Disclaimer: I don't own RK. Just this fic. It's mine! Get away! Oh, and I own my very own limited edition complete RK box set. My parents support my interest in 'history' coughhackcough.

* * *

-Sixteenth Year of the Meiji, Kyoto Japan-

**-Soujiro-**

"You are nothing, Tenken. You are weak."

Aoshi Shinomori's ice blue eyes held no emotion, not even the slightest bit of arrogance. Though it was clear who had the upper hand.

"I am Soujiro now. I have not been called by that name for two years now. I answer to it no longer.

I smiled my little half smile, but my eyes had gone cold. It was amazing how my smile had changed. From what it had been before… for how little it had meant to me.

'If I hadn't known you from before…'

I could still hear her voice, even from so far away. Pushing myself to my feet with my nihontou, I wiped the blood pouring from my lip. Ugh. I'd feel that in the morning.

"I am not weak, Aoshi-san. My strength used to come from my sword, my godlike speed. I am not boastful, Aoshi-san. I knew I was good... ne? The strong survive, the weak, die? Do you really want to believe in this? I have found a new strength… "

I stopped. Aoshi's ki was strange. It felt like it was growing. Almost like he wasn't bothering to mask it. He was furious. I'd hit a nerve.

"Draw your sword, Seta Soujiro. I will not let you survive this. You have taken too much from me already. I cannot see Misao hurt the way she does. Her feelings make her weak."

"She is important to you?"

"You know the answer to that question."

Did I? I wasn't so sure anymore.

"Really, Aoshi-san?"

"I raised her. I know her better than anyone else. It is time you learned this, Tenken. I have warned you. You did not listen. Now you will pay retribution with your very life."

* * *

THREE MONTHS EARLIER…

I shook my head slightly to dry it.

"It's going to be another rainy day!" I said with a smile. But I'm always smiling, I guess. It doesn't matter anymore. I am only a rurouni now, looking for answers. I haven't found many yet. But hey, I'm not complaining or anything. I've helped a few people along the way, too. And I'm surprised at their kindness. I can look at people now and see something good. They used to be ants to me, mindless weak slaves who cower at the might of the strong. I was always told by Shishio-san that the weak were only food for the strong. I don't believe this anymore. Himura-san… he is so lucky. His journey is complete.

I tilted my head to the sky to receive the rain. The falling drops made a beautiful trickling sound falling through the forest. I had a lot of time to listen to the rain now. I closed my eyes, my smile frozen and impassive.

"Eyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Eeek!"

I opened my eyes to the falling rain. Rain wasn't the only thing falling today. Instinctively I braced myself to catch the young boy falling from the tree.

THUD.

Ouch.

"Here, let me help you up sir," I said. The boy was dressed very lightly for the cool spring weather. He had a thin blue… ninja shirt? A clumsy ninja, go figure… anyway his face was hidden by the worn thin mantle that had gotten tossed over him when he fell.

"What were you doing up in that tree? Be careful of those high places like that, you could have really gotten hurt-"

"EXCUSE ME! DO I LOOK LIKE A 'SIR' TO YOU! Anyway, you need to practice the art of catching beautiful maidens as they fall. It could be useful someday."

Ooookay. I guess this boy was a girl, then. A very energetic girl. Where was she hiding all that spunk?

"Maa, I am very sorry miss…"

"That's Makimachi Misao to you, mister!" said Makimachi Misao.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Misao-dono. I am Seta Soujiro, at your service!"

Misao-dono just stared at me.

And stared. And STARED! Boy it was taking all my self-control not to smack that girl's head on straight. It's not like it could come any looser.

"Ano… is there something on my face, Misao-dono?"

"Yeah! It's a huge bug! It's eating your face off! Aaah, it's gross!"

"Yaagg! Get it off! Oro!"

Holy crap, I did NOT just say Oro.

"Relax Tenken, I'm just teasin' ya."

I froze at my old name. My smile faded slightly.

"Who… I don't… where have I seen you before?"

"Come on, how could you forget a cute face like this?"

Misao-dono gave me a V sign and grinned. Hey, she was sort of cute. She had wide innocent eyes that had never seen death. What an adorable smile! And with the rain dripping down her petite form like that, her thin gi…

Ah! Sou no baka!

Something inside my head clicked. "You and the boy… Himura's friends?"

She grinned. "Exactamundo! Hey, are you some kind of homeless bum?" (A.N. Her exact words to Himura when they first met! Oh the irony of our sweet rurounis! Rurouni's? Rurounises? Whatever.)

Sou falls over anime style

"I am a rurouni now, thank you very much for your concern. I live with what the day brings. I wake in the morning and continue-"

Misao-dono broke in. "So you ARE a bum! I knew it!"

"Ano…"

"Anyway, what are you doing out here in Kyoto Forest?

"Kyoto forest…" I had not realized I'd made a full circle back to Kyoto. Was it fate…?

"HEY, WAKE UP YOU BUM!"

"Ah! Sorry Misao-dono." I scratched the back of my head. "I am only wandering to find answers. Himura he… he gave me a lot to think about."

Misao was uncharacteristically silent. For all of five seconds. "Have you found your answers yet, Seta?"

My smile softened. The young ninja girl made it sound all so easy.

Misao sat watching me with interest. We sat in silence like this for several minutes. It was a nice change from all the silent moments I'd had by myself. She was so different from me in every way. I would have to be careful. She was so pure… it was almost amazing.

"I hope to find my answers, Misao-dono. It may take me years. Look at Himura! He had ten years before he found Koaru-san."

Misao nodded and patted my shoulder carelessly. "Anyway, I have the afternoon off. I was hoping to practice my awesome ninja skills, but I suppose it's only natural for a member of the Oniwaban to help a poor lost soul in need. I guess I can sacrifice a little bit of my time for you!"

My unfaltering smile widened. Ah, youth.

"HEY, let's go introduce you to everyone at the Aoiya!" She grabbed my nose and pulled me through the trees.

"N-nani!"

She let go of my nose (thank Kami-sama!) and grabbed my hand. "Come on!"

She turned to me, laughter written all over her face and in her eyes. I couldn't help but stare at her face. I'd only know her for what… half an hour? But she was so cute… ara! I felt myself blushing. What was this feeling? My head hurts.

Something clunked in the pit of my stomach. Hey, wasn't Misao-

"You're that weasel girl!"

"KANSATSU TOBIKUNAI!"

flutter flutter

There goes my hair…

* * *

A.N. Review! I've already wet myself; don't make me soil myself, too! Oh, and I'd like to dedicate this chapter to xT-Zealot and his story 'Prisoner'. It was awesome! It was totally the inspiration for writing this. Your shoulder angels/devils are absolutely adorable! 


	2. In Truth

Author's Note: Okay, I know I'm moving really fast. But whatever, this is my story. I'm proud of it so far. Don't worry everyone, I WILL NOT let this story die. I HATE people who do that! On Monday I made an outline for the whole story. I'm really excited! There will be about 15 to 20 chapters. Maybe. Oh, and thank you all for the reviews!

The-eater-of-words: Thank you! I love you! For serious!

The Hellsfury Gumi: Thanks! Oh, and thanks for the thing about the 'ara'. I knew about it, I just felt like throwing some OOC stuffs in there!

Tenken's Lover: YAY! Isn't Soujiro just adorable?

anithene: Yes, I know I made it all kind of fast. But since this takes place two years after Shishio was defeated, he is starting to heal a bit. He likes her already, but even if he did, he can't recognize what he's feeling yet. Anyway, I'll work with it. Thanks for the review!

Buttknee: BJ! I can't believe you reviewed! I love you! Hey, see you Wednesday baby!

Somnus: Yeah, that first scene was TOTALLY a spoiler. Sort of. More like a sneak-peak. You'll see!

Thank you everybody! XOXO

Disclaimer: I don't own RK. I suppose I'll have to make do with this fic instead.

* * *

**-Misao-**

Soujiro and I had been walking for a while now, about half an hour. The thick trees kept us from going very fast. Aw man… and we still had like, a whole hour to go!

"Soujiro! I'm bored!"

Soujiro smiled expressionlessly. Ugh man, that was creepy. "What would you like to do then, Misao-dono?" asked the stupid bum.

"Hmmm…" I drummed the tips of fingers. "Hey! Let's sing a song!"

"Maa, Maa, go ahead, Misao-dono. I'm afraid I don't know any songs."

"You're kidding! No wonder you're a bum! Can't even sing for your supper!"

"Ano, Misao-dono?" asked the rurouni. "Sing for your supper? Why would I do that?"

I sighed. What an idiot. "Never mind. It's only an expression."

We walked in silence for a few minutes. I began to fidget. I was sooo bored! I glanced over at Soujiro. Baka rurouni! He was just smiling…

"I've tried to peer into your soul

But you never have the answers for me.

And I think:

What does it matter?

As I watch the blossoms drift to the ground

Falling from the many pink-laced trees

I watched you go.

Will you ever return?

And I think:

What does it matter…?" (1)

Soujiro finished singing in a whisper, looking almost… embarrassed? Nah… But where did he learn that song?

"Oh, Sou, that was so pretty! Did you make that up?"

He shook his head, looking almost… sad. "Yumi… she used to sing it to Shishio-sama, almost every night."

Oh Sou… why are you so sad?

His smile returned, and he looked forward with all traces of emotion gone. "Yumi… she was weak. Her feelings, they made her weak. Shishio-sama… he was strong."

I was shocked. No, no… that's not right! Oh Sou… how can you say that? I shivered, moving away from him. He felt so cold… wrong, wrong, WRONG.

We walked in silence as the cool fingers of twilight descended all around us.

Finally after, like forever, we reached the clearing that signified the end of the forest, and only ten minutes to the Aoiya. It was getting cold out, and I shivered slightly. Oh no, I hope Sou didn't see me shiver. He'll think I'm weak…

"Misao-dono?" Soujiro startled me with speaking. "It is getting dark out. Your friends will be worried. Do you wish to hurry?"

"Hey, don't worry about it. We have plenty of time!" I glanced at the sky. What! Stars were coming out ALREADY? "On second thought, we'd better get going. I don't want Aosh- anybody to worry." I blushed and smiled expectantly at the thought of seeing my Aoshi-sama again. Grabbing Sou's hand, I sped up.

"Misao-dono?"

"Yes, Sou? What is it?"

WOOSH!

Ahh! We were going so fast! I opened my eyes, realizing I'd clamped them shut.

Nani!

I was in Soujiro's arms, going faster than I thought possible. Was this the famous Shukuchi Himura had told her about? Wait a minute… I was in Sou's arms! It was strange… how could one so cold feel so warm? I could feel his heart beating softly and clutched him tighter… Misao no baka! Enough of that! This was the Tenken! Well, ex-Tenken.

Before I knew it, we were at the Aoiya. Soujiro set me gently on the ground. It had taken less than a minute to get here!

I gasped, out of breath. Sh… shu… shu… shuk…?

That baka just smiled and turned his back to me.

"Six steps short of the Shukuchi."

Misao falls over anime style, twitching

Sou turned back to me and looked me in the eyes. His stare… so emotionless! "Shouldn't we tell yours friends you've arrived, Misao-dono?"

Of course! How could I have forgotten my dear Aoshi-sama? But I had company, too. I'd go check in with Jiya before I found Aoshi.

"Jiya! Jiya, I'm home! Omasu! Okon!"

Okina, the old leader of the Oniwabanshuu, came out to meet me, beckoning us to come inside. "Misao! Where were you? Can't you see how dark it is?" He noticed Soujiro. "Eh-heheheheh! So this is what you were doing. It's not every day my Misao brings home a cute young Tenken."

I blushed madly. "Hey gramps, I just thought Soujiro could use a place to stay! Ya know, the Oniwaban hospitality and all that! There's nothing between me and him, so get over it, old man!"

**-Soujiro-**

Misao… she was strange. I watched as she and the old man fought each other madly. She could hold her own, that was for sure.

Hm? An aura… there was definitely a battle aura coming from outside. A familiar aura… who could it be? I turned to face the door and walked to it slowly, placing my hand on the hilt of my nihontou.

"Sou…? Where are you…"

"Be quiet, Misao-dono. There is someone out there." Before I could stop her, Misao-dono ran to the door and flung it open. "Wait!"

Misao grinned. "Perfect timing! Relax Sou, it's just Aoshi-sama."

Aoshi's eyes held hate. "Tenken. So we meet again. For the last time!" Uh, he was so cliché. "I will not let you live, knowing all the things you have done. Draw your sword, Seta Soujiro."

Shinomori and I stared at each other, not moving, testing each other's strength with our eyes. He would be no match for me. Without a sound, I disappeared. Aoshi shot forward to attack.

**-Misao-**

I gasped in horror. "No Aoshi, Soujiro is a wanderer now! A rurouni! Stop it, both of you!"

Soujiro, he moved so fast. The Shukuchi! It must be! I couldn't even see him, just flicks of his ever smiling face. Aoshi-sama… he could be hurt!

**-Soujiro-**

WHAP.

My sword made a dull slice as it connected with Aoshi's flesh. It had not been a killing shot. He was faster than I expected. I did not want to use the full Shukuchi on him. He was not worth it.

"Very good, Aoshi-san. You dodged my attack." He was breathing heavily, though he hid it pretty well. My sword had connected with his shoulder blade. "But then again, that was four steps short of the Shukuchi. It looks like I'll have to defeat you three steps short." Aoshi's eyes widened. I could almost feel his outrage that my attack hadn't been all out. I would enjoy this.

I attacked.

Aoshi attempted to cut me down before I could reach him. Too slow!

"HA!"

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(1) This poem is part of the poem 'In Truth' I wrote in 2002. It's not really a song, but use your imagination, okay? Thanx!

Author's Note: Uh-oh, things don't look good for Aoshi. That's okay, I didn't like him anyway. J/k, j/k! Will Soujiro finally cut Aoshi Shinomori down? Can Misao save her beloved Aoshi-sama in time? Which warrior will win in this dance of death? Tune in next time, to Your Beautiful Tears!


	3. You don't need a Tenken in your life

Author's Note: Chapter Three! Yay! I feel like I'm really getting somewhere!

Okay, first of all, I was terrified of posting that last chapter. It was really controversial, as you all were too kind to inform me. This chapter's a doozie too. It's actually been finished for a while but I was afraid of posting it. I know it all happened really fast and really early in the fanfiction, but if I had put it off, I'd be looking at 30 chapters. And I have no patience for something that long, I'm afraid. But cheer up, this isn't a fighting fic. I just had to put it there because that's what Aoshi is most likely to respond to. Oh, but I won't spoil it for you! And thank you all for reviews! 20+ already! Wouldn't it be great to get 100? My most dedicated reviewer will get this story dedicated to them! Wouldn't that be dandy?

Leona Westley: Yeah I know, she would hate him for it. But hey, a lot can happen in 15+ chapters…

Aoshi/Misao Fan: No, they didn't fight at all in the series, but Soujiro is even better than Kenshin. Kenshin's sneaky, he can screw with your head. ;D But anyway, Soujiro is better, in theory (but hey, you never know, right?).

Cathy Mark: Oh, you hate it don't you? I'm so sorry! But yes, Soujiro is extremely polite, he calls people by very formal names. (Like 'Mr. Himura' in the English series.) I picked this up and researched it after re-watching the series twice this week. I got the flu.  Dude, that was almost too much RK! Jk, jk, that's impossible.

KRN-chan (A.k.a: KaoRu-chaN): You know, I haven't decided yet. My dear friend Buttknee thinks it should be, but those always make me sad, so probably not. And yes, Soujiro is a Rurouni now, but two years isn't a lot of time to change how you've lived your whole life. Don't worry, he feels very guilty about it. And how Misao will feel about it… yeah she'll be upset, but perhaps our weasel girl has a forgiving heart…?

Flamer: A flamer! You totally made me cry for serious when I read this. I'm really sorry for being so weak… please forgive me! But Misao called Kenshin a bum and a transvestite, so she likes to insult people I suppose.

Raeyn-chan: Sou/Misao are the cutest! You made me feel better about the flamer, thank you for your support. bows

The Hellsfury Gumi: Who-hoo! It's so nice to see you again! I love you! Yes, this is after the Kyoto arc but I changed the story a bit to fit my taste I suppose… and Aoshi wouldn't hesitate to protect Misao if he thought she was in danger, ne?

Amasaki Reyoko: I love you. For serious.

naiLAUG: Thank you. You really helped me deal with that awful flamer. I feel so terrible! But I guess you can't please everybody…

Somnus: Hey, thanks! I'm glad someone liked the poem. Perhaps I'll put the rest of it in the story later…

Charming Woman: Yep, all very good questions. All will be revealed! If you're patient, so stick around, I'd love to see your charming reviews again!

Digitalex: Yeah, the Sou/Misao pairing has become really common. I've wanted them together for years! I was so excited when I came to and saw so many other people with the same idea!

Aoshi-sama's weasel girl: Oh… I'm sorry you feel that way. Um, if I may ask… why did you even bother to read this fic if you knew it was about Soujiro and Misao? And why are you yelling at me because I have a different opinion of you. I'm sorry, that was mean, but your review sort of made me mad. I'm so sorry I wasted your time.

Mieko: Wow. I guess everyone has different opinions. Hm.

Disclaimer: This is a fanFICTION. As in not true. As in FICTION. Whatever, I don't own RK.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"Very good, Aoshi-san. You dodged my attack." He was breathing heavily, though he hid it pretty well. My sword had connected with his shoulder blade. "But then again, that was four steps short of the Shukuchi. It looks like I'll have to defeat you three steps short." Aoshi's eyes widened. I could almost feel his outrage that my attack hadn't been all out. I would enjoy this.

I attacked.

Aoshi attempted to cut me down before I could reach him. Too slow!

"HA!"

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

**-Misao-**

I could hear someone screaming. It wasn't until later I found out it was me.

"No no no, oh nonono…" I found myself on the ground shaking in pain. I could feel every attack rattling me to the bone. I couldn't stop shaking, I was so useless, Aoshi-sama, he could, he would, he was already hurting, in pain, I could feel it!

Okina sank to the floor. "By the gods…"

"AOSHI-SAMA! AOSHI!"

**-Soujiro-**

I smiled. I was still confident. "My Aoshi-san, giving up already? This isn't like you at all. And with me only three steps short of the Shukuchi. Looks like I won't get much fun out of this fight." My smile widened. He picked himself up off the floor where I'd flung him. One more blow, that's all I needed. Easy. "No more games now, Aoshi-san."

I stopped. He was speaking.

"Kaiten Kenbu Rokuren"

My eyes widened. So he would finally use his famous Kaiten Kenbu. Roughly, the dance of six slashes. Using his double kodachi, the attacker spins in circles delivering six fatal slashes to his opponent. How marvelously interesting.

Aoshi disappeared. I could hear his footsteps quickening as he charged. No man could dodge this attack.

Well, aside from me, that is.

Using the Shukuchi, I sped around him, faster than the human eye can register. Too slow.

WHAP.

Another strike. Aoshi's back arched in pain. It's hit him straight from behind. "How embarrassing, Aoshi-san. Has no one ever taught you to guard your back? But I am impressed. That blow was meant to kill. I am vain, so I don't want to show you the full Shukuchi. But for you Aoshi-san, I will stand for only one step short of the Shukuchi."

I charged.

**-Misao-**

There was a roaring in my ears. I couldn't tear my eyes from Aoshi-sama. It would be the last time I would ever see his face…

"NOOO!"

Before I knew what was happening, I was running across the floor, outside to the dark cold night. The grass had turned to mud from Soujiro's godlike speed. No, not godlike. The Shukuchi was the speed that surpassed that of the gods! My head was buzzing, and tears ran down my face to fly behind me. I ran in front of Aoshi-san, my Aoshi, and threw my arms wide.

"Misao, run! Tenken, he will kill you!" Aoshi's mask of calm was gone, his eyes wide with horror.

"Aoshi… it is an honor to die for you." I closed my eyes, waiting for death.

But it never came.

I opened my eyes to see Soujiro frozen less than a foot away, eyes wide with shock.

**-Soujiro-**

Why?

Why would she do that? She would have died. I would have killed her. Why didn't I kill her? She is just one girl, although a cute one.

Why? Why why WHY?

I don't understand. My head hurts.

Misao began to cry silently, her head in her hands. I could see every tear clinging to her eyelashes. Her knees were shaking. My eyes were wide with what I had almost done. She is weak. I could still kill her now. My smile was frozen to my face. Perhaps if I knew how, I would be crying too.

CLATTER. I looked down at the ground. I had dropped my nihontou. My hands were numb. I closed my eyes. Why couldn't I think clearly? I brought my shaking hands up to my face. They were scarred with welts from their use with a sword. I could see where tonight's battle had left fresh wounds from holding my blade. I had not realized I was gripping it so tightly. My fingers… Aoshi's blood was dripping down to my arm. I felt sick.

But why did I even feel this way? Aoshi-san attacked me first! He has already proven to me that he did not deserve to live. Himura-san… have I betrayed your words tonight? No, of course not. Aoshi-san was worse than weak, he was arrogant. I turned to look at Aoshi-san. He was staring at Misao-dono, crying in the mud. I could not look at her… I had no intention of causing her pain. How could I have predicted she would react so strongly to Aoshi's death? Didn't she know that the weak were food for the strong?

My smile widened. Himura-san would not be happy if he could see me now. For hadn't he taught me that the weak were not food for the strong? Had a completely forgotten his lesson? Before I had made up my mind, I turned and walked away from the Aoiya. Away from Aoshi-san, away from Okina, who had shown me only kindness. Away from Misao-dono's tears…

I looked up at the sky as thunder tore through the night. It was raining again.

**-Misao-**

I couldn't stop crying. I am so weak… it was no wonder why Aoshi-sama didn't love me. I felt a hand on my shoulder and I started.

"Misao…"

"Oh, Aoshi-sama! I was so, so scared… are you all right? Aoshi-sama? What's wrong…?"

Aoshi-sama was sinking to the floor. Was that… blood? He was hurt! I will never, ever forgive Soujiro if he dies!

Okina ran into the rain to my side. "Misao, lay out Aoshi's futon, and heat some water! Fetch the doctor, then run to the Shirobecko. Omasu and Okon are there. Well, hurry Misao!"

I ran to Aoshi-sama's room to lie out the futon, and then boiled some water in the kitchen. I came back in time to see Jiya lay Aoshi-sama gently down. "Oh, Jiya… is Aoshi alright? Will he be okay?"

"Misao, no time for questions," said Okina sharply. I was taken aback by his harsh tone. I had never heard him speak like that to me before. "Fetch the doctor."

I only took time to nod and glance at my Aoshi-sama. His face was covered in sweat. I'd better hurry.

Aoshi Shinomori watched Misao run through the door. Okina pressed him back down on the futon gently. "Rest, Aoshi. Misao is worried about you."

Aoshi was silent as he thought of Misao's face, how she had cried at the fight with Tenken. She had looked so fragile. His face hardened to its usual icy stare as he thought about Soujiro. "Tenken… you will pay for what you have done to Misao."

**-Misao-**

I told the doctor about Aoshi-sama, then ran to find Okon and Omasu at the Shirobecko.

"Whoa Misao, slow down. What's the emergency?" asked Omasu. "Aoshi-sama he, he…" I started to cry again, dry shoulder-shaking sobs.

Fortunately the female ninjas had more sense than I did, and we immediately ran back to the Aoiya.

**-Soujiro-**

Looks like I made a mess of things again. No wonder Aoshi-san wanted to drive me off like that. I guess once a Tenken, always a Tenken.

"Omasu! Okon! Hurry up!" A young girl flew past me. A very familiar young girl… it was Misao-dono. My first instinct was to stop her, ask her if Aoshi-san was all right, beg for forgiveness… but my pride was still nagging at me. There was no reason for me to bother her any more. Misao, you don't need a Tenken in your life.

And with that last thought, Seta Soujiro, the mysterious Tenken no Soujiro, vanished into the night.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Author's Note: Oh, I am sooo evil! I know this chapter is sort of shorter than I like, but I can't write anymore, you'll have to wait to see what happens! This was a really hard chapter for me. I'm trying to set up the storyline without moving too fast, trying to keep everyone in character, blah blah blah… So sorry all you sticklers for in-character characters. This chapter had a lot of Soujiro OOCness, as well as some Aoshi OOCness. I'm really going to do some weird things with Soujiro's personality, mostly just because in the series you really never see him with one. And I changed the little border things, I really didn't like the one I had. Well anyway, hoped you liked it, I'm working really hard on it. Oh yeah, and REVIEW! Please?


	4. These tainted hands

Author's Note: Sorry for the slow updates everyone, it's exam week. Hooray. I've been answering everyone's review, but that takes like an hour! We have over ten reviews per chapter now, which is really great! I would like some more though. Tell you what; I'll answer some, like if you have a good question. Or if you just want me to comment on it, write it in the review! And since I get bored easy, I'll give shout-outs in my chapters now, by request! Just REVIEW!

I've been having bad problems with flamers, especially Aoshi fans. Dude, get over it! This is my fanfiction. MINE. I like Aoshi fine, but this isn't a fic about him. I was planning on having a nice ending with him, but maybe I should just kill him off. I'm not kidding, flamers suck. Go ahead e-mail me, you know who you are, and I'll tell you EXACTLY what I think of flamers. Until then grow a brain dude. Your screaming isn't going to make me want to listen to your 17 IQ incoherent babbling anymore than I listen to my toast. I HATE toast.

In response to everyone, I know I am a BAD PERSON! But whatever, I love Soujiro too much to let him just leave! And anyway, how can I write 15 chapters about Sou/Misao if he just leaves? Anyway, here's your awesome super long chapter for you!

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

There was no reason for me to bother her any more. Misao, you don't need a Tenken in your life.

And with that last thought, Seta Soujiro, the mysterious Tenken no Soujiro, vanished into the night.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

**-Soujiro-**

I wandered blindly. I was a fool to interfere in the lives of such nice people. I should not have gone with Misao that day. It had been almost a week since the incident at the Aoiya, but I could still remember their faces clearly. Especially the face of a certain weasel girl.

I sighed. Himura was right all along. I thought that killing Aoshi-san would be the normal thing to do, since he did attack me first after all and was a perfectly qualified swordsman who knew exactly who I was. I had learned that the weak were not food for the strong, but I suppose the legendary Tenken could not let go of his warrior ways. My strongest skill had been my lack of emotions, but if stubbornness was considered an emotion, then perhaps I was merely human after all.

This was giving me a headache. I didn't kill Aoshi. He would recover; his wounds weren't that serious. Then why did I feel so guilty?

Ah yes. There was just that little detail of Misao-dono. The hurt I saw on her face that night, her look of absolute betrayal, anguish, loathing, was too much for my newly acquired conscience. I would have to go back, beg for forgiveness. At least apologize to Aoshi-san. And hey, I did leave my only nihontou at the Aoiya. So it looks like I have to go back, ne?

But what if she didn't want to see me? She probably hates me now. Aoshi-san is obviously important to her. Why would she want to even look at me? She'll probably yell at me, or throw those kunais again. And I probably wouldn't have the heart to move out of the way. Perhaps people can't change. Once a Tenken, always a Tenken.

But oh gods, I will try. I don't want to leave this world with the people I've hurt dragging me down to hell.

I clenched my jaw in frustration. I will not walk away and let Misao-dono see me as a monster. With that thought I spun around, back toward the city that holds so many awful memories. Kyoto…

**-Misao-**

"You know Misao, you could at least say something. It's been a week since he left." I could tell Omasu was worried about me. Everyone at the Aoiya had been making comments like that all week.

I put down the bowl I was drying with a sigh. This had been the hardest week I had ever gone through. "I know Omasu. I just really thought I saw something good in Soujiro… I can't believe such a silly looking rurouni would do something like attack Aoshi-sama."

Omasu quietly patted my back and left to go bring Jiya his morning tea. I washed dishes in silence. This past week had been really slow. Everyone was worried about Aoshi. The doctor said his wounds weren't life threatening, but they were serious enough to keep him down for about a month. Yeah right. Aoshi was up the next day after the… accident. But what worries me most is he's given up meditating in the temple. He's gone all day to sit on the hill outside of town. Everyone is really happy to see him so calm and collective. But I know better. I've known Aoshi-sama almost my entire life, and I can see that he definitely isn't calm. I've never seen him so angry in my entire life. His eyes are so cold and narrow, like shards of ice frosty ice. It scares me more than a little.

After Aoshi-sama was hurt, I seriously thought about chasing down Tenken and making him pay. I even packed a travel bag. Omasu and Okon guessed what I was up to though and stopped me. They said Aoshi would never forgive them if I were hurt. And anyway, Aoshi-sama needs me here, right? Can't he see how much I care for him?

Sometimes I think he sees how I feel. I can see words hiding behind his eyes. But someday I'll make him smile, and he'll be able to tell me: Misao, I care for you. You are important to me. I appreciate you. But ever since I brought Soujiro here he's become farther away from me than I ever. It's all my fault.

I turned to look at the nihontou on the shelf. When Soujiro had left it, I just wanted to leave it buried in the mud. But Jiya says no good blade should be ruined so he brought it in. Why couldn't I stop looking at that stupid sword?

I wonder what I would say to Soujiro if I could see him again. I would tell him he's a bad person, of course! What kind of sicko would screw with anyone's emotions like this? How can he smile like that, after all he's done? Nobody should have to hurt like this! It's all his fault!

CRASH.

I had squeezed the plate I was holding so hard it had broken. Blood dripped from a cut in my hand, but I let it run down my arm. The sound of the drip, drip, dripping of my blood mingled with the sound of my tears descending like spring rain.

"Misao? Misaaoo! You have a visitor…"

**-Soujiro-**

I can't believe I just waltzed right in to the Aoiya like this! I had staked out the Aoiya all night trying to decide whether or not to come in. I hadn't waited too close, though. The Oniwabanshu is probably out for my blood. And it had helped that Aoshi had left the Aoiya earlier this morning. I have a hunch that my head won't clear until I get this out of the way. I just want to leave this whole mess behind me. Because I never want to see the picture of Misao's sorrowful face in my mind ever, ever again.

Taking I deep breath, I walked right in through the front gate. It seems I was expected, though. A young woman stood with her arms crossed about twenty feet in front of me. She was pretty in a friendly sort of way, and wore a plain kimono with the sleeves tied back. She looked quite plain standing there, but she had a strong ki spirit. Obviously another one of the Oniwabanshu ninjas.

"Hello Seta Soujiro. I wondered if I would be able to meet you. I am Omasu. I'm glad you came back."

I was startled. "Why would you want me back here, Omasu-dono? After what I have done to you."

She smiled at me. "Because Misao saw good in you. And the good thing to do would be to come back, ne?"

"Wait, wait," I cut her off. Rude I know, but cut me some slack here! "Misao saw good… so she's not angry at me?"

Omasu laughed. She had an honest laugh, and it made me smile wider to hear it. "Kami-sama, no. She's furious at you! Come," she grabbed my shoulders forcefully and steered me toward the main house. "Let's go fix this whole messy affair, shall we?"

I let myself be shunted willingly. It doesn't look like I have a say in any of this, anyway.

"Ano, Omasu? Why are you…?"

"Helping you? Because that's what good people do. We help each other." Omasu smiled. "As long as you don't attack anything while you're here."

I pried myself away from her grip gently. "Omasu-dono, I think this was a bad idea. I am the Tenken, and what I did was unforgivable. I should just leave now."

Omasu whipped around haughtily. "Do you think I distrust Misao's judgment? She trusted you and you're just going to let it go! For shame! You were the Tenken, but you are also human. People change, Soujiro. Maybe she won't forgive you, but that's no excuse not to try. I will not stand here and allow you to let her down like this! Now march, Seta!"

I chuckled to myself. Omasu-dono was really a great person.

"Omasu-dono?"

"Yes, Soujiro?"

"Thank you."

"Oh shut up. You really are just a silly looking rurouni."

"Ara!"

**-Misao-**

A visitor? Could it be… Aoshi-sama?

"She's in the kitchen. Come on, hurry up, and don't keep her waiting. No no, the kitchen's _that_ way."

A visitor, huh? Not Aoshi-sama, then… maybe it's Koaru? Why didn't she send a letter?

That's when Soujiro decided to enter the kitchen and saw me covered in my own blood.

**-Soujiro-**

I walked in the Aoiya's kitchen more nervous than I'd ever been in my life. Even more edgy than when I had an allergic reaction to those berries and I started attacking leaves. That was freaky weird.

I prepared for her to be furious at me. She'll probably throw stuff, or punch me. But whatever, I just don't want her to think of me as the unfeeling Tenken. I could feel, but maybe I just couldn't show her what I was feeling.

I was not prepared however, to see Misao-dono covered in blood with broken dishes littering the floor.

"Misao-dono! Misao-dono, what happened? Are you all right? How did you cut yourself?"

She motioned to the broken dishes. "I'm sorry, I just dropped a dish. It's no big deal." Her eyes were drooping. I grabbed her arm, tore off my jacket, and began cleaning the cut with water from the sink. The wound wasn't wide, but the thick clay dish had cut deep. And with her small frame, even a little blood loss would hit her hard. She slumped against my shoulder as I worked, and I could feel her warm breath on my neck. It made the hair stand up on my head. How could such a young girl intimidate me so much?

She looked at my face and frowned a confused little pout. "Wait a minute… Tenken?"

I set her down with a thump and backed away. "Ara, Misao-dono… I came back to-"

"Shut up! You stupid little… stupid face! How dare you show your face in here! I'll, I'll…" She got to her feet on stiff legs. I could see her entire body shaking in rage. Rage at seeing me here. I knew this was a bad idea. "Soujiro no Tenken, prepare yourself. I won't let you get away this time, you coward! You will pay for all your crimes! Whaaaaaa! KANSATSU TOBIKUNAI!"

Time seemed to move slowly. I could see every detail of emotion blazing across Misao's eyes, flick flick flick. I saw her tapered hands flying to her weapons and saw the kunais tear through the air towards me. I saw everything happen in less than a second, but it seemed like perpetuity. I could still stop them, could reach out and snatch them from the air. But I kept hearing my voice inside my head, from so many years ago.

But in reality… 

Misao's eyes widened as she realized I wasn't going to move.

In reality… 

I'm so sorry Misao. Sorry you had to meet such a baka Tenken like me.

Killing people wasn't… 

My hands unclenched and dropped to my side.

killing people wasn't… 

Why did I have to remember this memory at a time like this?

_something that I wanted to do._

That's when the kunai shred through my clothes and ripped into my stomach.

"Wha…? Tenken, what are you doing! Soujiro? SOUJIRO!"

**-Misao-**

That freakish little twit! That smiley-faced bird-brained thoughtless baka know-nothing excuse for a rurouni! I dropped the rest of my kunais and ran to his side.

"Soujiro? SOUJIRO! What do you think you are doing! You idiot! Didn't you know those things were sharp? I would think that somebody like the Tenken would have enough common sense to know that SHARP THINGS HURT WHEN THROWN!"

Oh god, oh god, oh god. Kami-sama, I've never killed ANYTHING before! Except for that stupid spider, and that was an accident! Soujiro was sinking to the floor. His eyes were half closed. I laid his gently down on my lap. His lips moved softly as he spoke.

"Oh, Yumi-dono… I had the craziest dream. There was this girl… she was so pretty…"

I felt heat rise to my face. Did Soujiro really think I was pretty?

"…she looked like a weasel."

WHAT!

Soujiro's smile wilted slightly as he focused on my face. "Oh Misao-dono, it's you. It's nice to see you again. I just came to say… oh Misao-dono, I'm so, so sorry. I'm the biggest baka rurouni in the whole world. I don't deserve to… oh Misao-dono, why are you crying?"

He brushed a tear softly away with his fingertips. It made me shiver. "Soujiro, you stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid little baka…."

He put his hand to his gut and pulled out the kunai. "Misao-dono, am I dead?"

I checked the kunai. No blood on it…? But how could that be? A quick investigation and I discovered that the kunai I had thrown had become stuck in a thick paper package that had been inside his shirt. When I picked it up flower petal drifted from it all onto Soujiro's chest.

"Oh yes Misao-dono, I brought you flowers."

That dirty little…! I pushed him off of my lap and onto the floor roughly. "What! How dare you? I thought you were dying!"

Soujiro laughed uneasily and put up both his hands in defense. "Maa maa, Misao-dono, so did I!" His smiled softened and he came closer to me, and I tensed. "It's just… I've never had anyone cry for me before."

Oh Soujiro… would you have been different if you hadn't met Shishio like you did, so many years ago?

"Alrighty! I have made my decision."

For once Soujiro looked genuinely confused. "Decision to what?"

I grinned wickedly. "My decision on what to do with you, of course! I'm going to teach you how to be human! That is, to feel emotions like a normal person."

I stressed the word _normal._ Oh, this would be ever so much fun! "And it will count as an outstanding deed on my Oniwabanshu record! I will be the greatest leader of all time! Hee hee! Imagine, curing the Tenken of his warrior-like ways! I'll be practically famous!"

I conveniently decided to ignore the look of panic on Soujiro's face. He'd better be scared!

**-Soujiro-**

Holy. Crap.

Holy C-R-A-P.

HOLY CRAP!

Kami-sama, I was terrified! This chick is a psycho! But at least she wasn't angry with me anymore. That was good.

I wonder how exactly she'll teach me how to feel? I've gotten much better on my own. But sometimes I just have trouble expressing myself.

But there was one problem…

"Misao-dono." She stopped dancing around to look at me. Her eyes were so wide in innocent! "I'm afraid I can't stay. There is blood on my hands that will never come off."

She just stared at me for a good whole minute. I raised my eyebrows. Had I killed her or something?

"So take a bath."

"ARA!"

"If you're dirty, take a bath. It's only natural."

"But Misao-dono, I don't think you understand. These tainted hands-"

She cut me off. What a headstrong little weasel! "We have some really good herbal soap gramps likes to use. He's so vain like that. I bet he wouldn't mind if you used it. You don't look dirty to me, though."

Wow, Misao-dono sure wasn't shy. My smile widened slightly. "Ara, Misao-dono," I raised my hands in surrender. "It's alright. But in all seriousness, I really shouldn't stay. I have no right to impose upon all of you like this. I've caused enough trouble."

Instead of getting angry or confused at me, Misao-dono just smiled. "I understand. But Soujiro, you're still just human. Tenken is a title given to you by other human beings exactly like yourself. Don't you think it would be better to change that title for the better? At least just try?"

Oh Misao-dono, you are so kind! How can you bear to look at me? I understood what she meant, but I still wasn't sure if I could believe her. I had seen too much evil in people to suggest that everyone was made the same.

Almost like she could see what I was thinking, Misao-dono put her hand on my arm. She looked so small and sad. "Soujiro, we live in an imperfect world. Unfortunately, this means that there are people that suffer. But I believe that if I can ease this pain, just a little bit, then maybe I'll have accomplished something in my life. Himura believes the same thing, and I think you believe it too. Maybe you're just not sure how to do it."

I closed my eyes and tilted my head toward the ceiling. Wisdom could be found in the simplest of places, even in such a small girl. My smile widened. She was right, she had to be! That's why my heart had been so confused, why I felt so strange around her. I warm feeling rose into my chest and into my throat as I looked into her smiling eyes. Misao-dono really was a beautiful person. For a split second I looked into her eyes and I saw into her heart. It was so bright! I couldn't help but be dazzled by it's purity. Misao-dono was obviously someone who had never known evil. Perhaps she was what I needed to fulfill my promise to Himura-san.

"Misao-dono… can I ask you a question?"

"Sure, Sou. Shoot."

Shoot? Shoot what? I didn't even have a gun! "Uh… okay. Misao-dono… how old _are_ you, exactly?"

"HOW OLD AM I? That's not a question you ask a young lady! But I'll forgive you this time, on account of you have no people skills. Anyway, I'm sixteen. Happy now?"

Sixteen? SIXTEEN? "Are you sure, Misao-dono! You look more like twelve!"

"WHAT!"

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Outside the kitchen, Omasu was laughing her head off. "Stupid teeneagers!"

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Author's Note: Ah, I suck at this. All my chapters feel rushed. Oh well, at least my story will get to the point quickly. I'll try to slow it down, honest! The next chapters I will concentrate on some waff for you! Waff is the luvverlyest!


	5. If only someone had cried for me

Author's Note: Oh my goodness, I am a terrible person. I need to update more! The shame, the shame! Happy Spring Break, however! I have quite a lovely tan, I must say. I have changed my policy on flamers _just this once_. Feel free to yell at me for my impertinence. And thank you, my dear Miss Buttknee, for your lovely sing-a-long. I plan to dedicate the next chapter to you, where I shall include another sing-a-long. I love you babe, but I do want my Xenosaga II game back. Seriously, I haven't even played it yet! GIVE IT BACK. Thank you.

**-Soujiro-**

Last night, after Misao-dono and I finished talking, she called everyone at the Aoiya together for an emergency meeting. Me, not being an official member of the Aoiya staff was not allowed to attend. It was weird, though. As they were all coming out of the kitchen, Misao-dono threw open the door and screamed, 'GOT YOU!' It scared me so badly that I fell over. Misao-dono was pretty embarrassed, actually. I guess she'd had some bad experiences with men and eavesdroppers. From the Kenshin-gumi, no less!

Everyone was acting strangely around me as they exited the kitchen, especially Misao-dono. Omasu kept shaking my hand and beaming at me. Even Okina would occasionally break into song and laugh ridiculously at me. The other members of the Oniwabanshu kept glancing warily at me and smiling hesitantly. I suppose by now they all knew I was.

Anyway, after about ten minutes of confusion, Misao-dono explained what the meeting had been about. It seemed that the members of the Aoiya had decided to let me stay here, provided I was willing to work in the Aoiya. I am quite grateful, and it seems a small price to pay for the kindness they've shown me. Everyone here at the Aoiya is quite willing to forgive me, a kindness that I will never be able to repay, not in a million years. I can't stop thanking them all.

"Misao-dono, I am eternally grateful. I can't ever thank you enough. I-"

"Soujiro?"

"Yes Misao-dono?"

"Shut up."

"Of course, Misao-dono."

The only one absolutely unwilling to forgive me is Aoshi-san. Later in the night during everyone's dinner he burst into the Aoiya, physically shaking in rage.

"Tenken! Get out! How dare you come back here?"

He whipped out his double kodachi and advanced toward me. My hand flew to the hilt of my sword, but too late I realized I hadn't asked for it back yet.

"WAIT!" Misao-dono surprised me by running up and placing her hands on my arm. I could feel heat rising in my face. It was a strange feeling, and I wondered what I was experiencing. Did I have a fever?

**-Misao-**

Uh-uh, no way was I gonna let Soujiro get away from me. I had so much work to do with him!

"WAIT!" I yelled at my Aoshi-sama. I grabbed Soujiro's arm and a strange look passed across his face for a split second, almost like his features weren't sure how to arrange themselves. What a weirdo. "Soujiro is a member of the Aoiya now! Aoshi-sama, meet our new janitor!"

Aoshi-sama's lower eyelid twitched. He wasn't going to let this go easily at all. I gazed into the eyes of my beloved. "Please, Aoshi-sama. Give him a chance. I believe Soujiro can change. Tell you what, if I can't change him you can do with him whatever you want."

Soujiro sweatdropped.

Aoshi-sama turned his attention to Soujiro. "Fine, Misao. I place the Tenken in your charge. But the Tenken knows he can't change, and the second you slip up, Seta…" Aoshi-sama brought the kodachi blade up to Soujiro's throat. "I will not let this go so easily, Tenken. You and I have a score to settle."

And with that, Aoshi-sama whipped around and stomped off toward his room. Wow, he really was angry.

Whatever, Aoshi-sama was too dramatic. "Come on Soujiro, I'll show you to your room."

Soujiro looked up at me in surprise, his clear blue eyes wide. I couldn't help looking back into them. They were a beautiful blue, just like Aoshi's but they held none of the coldness Aoshi's did. He really was just a kid. What had happened to him that motivated him to join Shishio? Soujiro put him hand on my shoulder and looked deeply into my eyes, leaning closely in to my face. The hair on the back of my neck stood up and I felt sick inside, but I couldn't seem to move away. "Misao-dono, do you really want me to stay here? I am still not sure that causing the discontent of Aoshi-san would be a good idea."

"What! Are you thinking of leaving again? Do you think I would have gone through all this trouble just to kick you out at the last minute! I DON'T THINK SO! Now come on, you can stay in our guest room. Did you know, it's the same room Kenshin stays in when he visits! Isn't that funny! I guess our little restaurant attracts all sorts of rurounis! HA HA HA HA HA!"

"Ara!" Soujiro squeaked as I dragged him down the hall. "Move yourself Tenken, I haven't got all night," I grumbled, irritated at having to push the little rurouni around everywhere, like an infant! "Can't you see how dark it is outside? I need my sleep, ya know! It's not easy, looking so beautiful all the time."

Soujiro muttered something under his breath as we reached his room.

"What was that!" I screamed at him, flinging open the door to his room. I picked him up over my head and flung him headfirst inside. "GET IN THERE BAKA!"

"ARA! Soujiro wailed. "I said yes, you are very pretty, Misao-donoooo!"

"Eh?" I blinked in confusion. I blushed and raised my hand behind my head in embarrassment. "EH heh heh, you're kidding right?"

Soujiro's face was completely blank as he looked me straight in the eye. "Yes, Misao-dono. I believe you are a very beautiful person. And also very strong. But I must know Misao-dono, do you plan on throwing me every time I compliment you?" He sighed. "I'm not so sure I will want to pay you anymore compliments if that is indeed the case."

I patted him lightly on the cheek. "Forget about it, Soujiro. I can see I have a lot of work to do with you."

Soujiro's features made that funny face again, like he didn't know what emotion he was supposed to be conveying. "What work, Misao-dono? Do you mean my job at the Aoiya?"

"SOU NO BAKA! Don't tell me you forgot already. Did you think I was joking when I said I would teach you to act like a normal human being? For example, what kind of weirdo are you? You keeping making weird faces at me."

Soujiro made the strange face AGAIN! "HA! See, that one! What's one your mind, Soujiro?"

His features tightened, but he decided to go with a warm smile to me. "It's nothing Misao-dono. I must just be tired." That little sneak.

I smiled evilly and got right in his face. "You just think you're safe from me, but just you wait. I'll deal with YOU tomorrow." With that being said, I spun around to the door.

EEK! I'd spun too fast and twisted my ankle in Soujiro's sleeve, him still being crouched on the floor. I wobbled for several tense seconds before crashing clumsily to the ground.

**-Soujiro-**

I saw the second Misao-dono turned that she was going to fall. Instinctively I braced myself to catch her before remembering what had happened last time I tried to save her from a fall. I ended up springing backward to avoid her at the same time my arms lurched out to catch her. The result was we both tumbled awkwardly together in a messy heap.

Misao-dono sputtered trying to detangle her hair from her face. I brushed the bangs from her eyes and realized I was lying almost on top of her. She was much, much too close. I leaned in closer to her face until our eyelashes were touching…

I jumped up nervously. Soujiro, what were you thinking. I expected her to get angry or yell at me, but she didn't say anything. When I happened to glance up at her face, she was looking at her feet and blushing like crazy. "Um, it's late, you should, er, get to sleep Misao-dono."

She ran her fingers through her short hair, still blushing. "Yeah, um, it's late. I'll be, uh, going now. Futon's in the closet." She ran so fast out of the room she almost tripped again.

I sighed and picked up the small hand mirror on the desk. Looking at my reflection, I saw a young smiling boy staring back at me, but his eyes were blank. I closed my own eyes and put the mirror back on the table. What was that I had seen in the mirror? It can't have been me. Picking up the mirror again, I studied the face. By now I was sure the face wasn't mine. I reached up to touch my face, and so did the picture in the mirror. The mirror-boy was completely emotionless. Emotionless and alone. Studying the mirror-boy further, I realized I saw nothing of myself in his face. I was nothing.

Suddenly angry, I threw the mirror at the wall.

"I AM NOTHING!"

My hands were shaking in rage. I hadn't felt angry since…

My mask of unfeeling dropped back onto my face as I thought of that day so many years ago. My hands stopped shaking, but I hardly felt at peace. An odd feeling was twisting in my gut, and I had the sudden urge to run to someone and tell them everything. About my past, my life with Shishio, about the strange effect these people had on me. Not just the members of the Aoiya, but a certain ninja girl…

I shook my head and pulled out the futon. It would be a long night. Misao-dono, what makes you so different?

**-Misao-**

Outside of Soujiro's room Misao shivered, an invisible breeze unsettling her nerves. She hadn't left since she shut the door to his room, and had heard everything. Now she was even more sure something had happened to Soujiro. Himura had even said Soujiro seemed plagued by unwelcome memories of his past.

Hesitantly I knocked on Soujiro's door. "Um, Soujiro? May I come in?"

The door whipped open suddenly and Soujiro stood facing me, his face completely blank of anything. I could feel tears rising in my throat, but I pushed them down.

"Soujiro I… I've changed my mind. If you want to talk to me now, I'll listen." I pushed my way into his room without really giving him a choice.

Soujiro let me in obligingly and closed the door gently behind me. I flinched a little bit when I saw the hand mirror, shattered beyond repair strewn across the floor. When I looked up at Soujiro questioningly, he turned away from me.

I made myself comfortable and sat down on the floor, motioning for Soujiro to do the same. He sat on the futon already spread on the floor and looked at me questioningly, his cute little head tilted to one side. For some reason when Soujiro looked at me, he always _looked_ at me. That sounds weird, ne? When Aoshi-sama looked at me, it always seems like he's looking behind me. I'd have to do better to get Aoshi-sama to look at me, the person inside of me, not behind me.

Soujiro cleared his throat rather loudly. I jumped and focused on him apologetically. "Aa, sorry Soujiro. I was just thinking." I closed my eyes and tapped my fingers together. How could I say this…? I nodded once and spoke. "Soujiro… what do you think makes people the way they are?"

Soujiro's smile faltered for a split second, almost unnoticeable. His gave dropped away from me, and I couldn't help feel like my body lost some of its warmth when his gaze left mine. "Misao-dono, I'm not sure if any human being can answer that. I guess some people are just born the way they are. I'm not sure if they can help it."

I was more than a little shocked. "So, you think some people were just born evil?"

"And you think everyone was born good? Then how could there be any evil in the world, huh?" I was surprised at his harsh reaction to my words. I bit back tears before answering him. "Soujiro… we're all only human. Being human, we are an imperfect race, but we've been blessed with the capacity to do good."

He chuckled with no trace of humor. "Huh. Even me, Misao-dono?"

I smiled faintly, play-punching him in the arm. "Well, I don't know about that Soujiro. But don't worry, I'll make sure to find out if it takes me years. You won't be able to hide anything from me."

He didn't smile back, and I dropped my arm in defeat. Pushing myself up, I prepared to leave.

I stopped and turned slowly. Soujiro had grabbed me arm tightly and was staring at me in absolute pain. My heart dropped to my feet and lay in pieces around my ankles. Biting back tears, I crouched back down and held both his small rough hands in mine.

"Tell me everything."

Soujiro shuddered slightly, closed his eyes, and began to speak. Slowly and shy at first, but he soon picked up his pace and spoke as though reciting, his eyes still squeezed shut.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"My mother was a common women of the brothels who became pregnant with me after a fling with my father. So when my both my parents died when I was very young, my father's family took me in. At first when they accepted me into their house, I was grateful and thought they took me in for love.

I was wrong.

My father's family was a greedy bunch of people, as I quickly found out. It didn't take me long to realize that they had only accepted me because they were afraid of what other people would think. By the first day I found myself laboring with the paid workers in their rice business, except I would work longer and never be paid. I wouldn't really ever complain though, I was happy having someplace that would let me call it home, no matter how unfit a home it was.

One night when I was moving rice bales into the storage shed, the oldest of my cousins called out to me, obviously drunk with sake. I was five then. He came at me, cursing my existence and screaming at my inability to do is every bidding. After he yelled a bit, he drew out his wooden practice sword and began beating me. I was so scared and betrayed. This was my _family_. Why didn't they love me?

At first when they'd beat me, I'd cry or get upset. But after awhile, I got tired of groveling and just smiled when they'd beat me. This would confuse them, and they'd eventually leave me alone. My smile hasn't left my face since."

I sighed with a sense of relief. It was almost over. Misao-dono, you will hate me forever, but I want to share everything I am with you.

I cleared my throat and resumed. "One evening, my 'family' demanded I move one hundred bales of rice to the storage shed before I could sleep inside, so I had been spending the night in the shed. I was laying on the floor and then…"

I ground my face in my hands. I could still remember it perfectly, but it didn't help that my head was pounding louder than a crowd of western tourists.

"It was dark and still, a perfect night for someone like Shishio. When I heard the screams of the policemen as they were cut down, I was terrified. I ran out to investigate, and saw Shishio for the first time. He was bandaged from head to foot and seemed to glow cold blue flames from the inside out. I tried to sneak away, but… he advanced on me, his sword drawn. 'You saw me… now I have to kill you.'

"All of a sudden he lowered his sword. 'Does death really make you that happy?' I was smiling, a habit from being terrified. I was confused, but when Shishio demanded I provide him with food and a place to stay, I could hardly refuse. He frightened me, this man covered in bandages, and I remember asking him: 'Are you a good person, Shishio-san, or a bad person?'

'It's those Meji dogs who are the bad people. They're just interested in riches and power.'

'So you're a good person?'

He laughed. 'I wouldn't say that at all. I've killed a lot of people obeying their orders.' He then told me something I've never forgotten, something I had believed in almost my entire life since that day.

'Only the fittest survive in this world. The strong live, and the weak die.'

The weak, die? I'd never heard of anything like that before. Shishio-san then presented me with his wakizatshi sword, and told me that I could change and become stronger, so not to be weak anymore.

I wasn't really sure if I really wanted to be stronger. To cut a man with a sword… it was sure to be painful. I knew what it felt like to be beaten, and being sliced by a sword was certain to hurt even more. I just didn't want to inflict that pain on other people. Sure I was weak, but was that really such a bad thing? Was being weak all that bad? I figured I'd better return that sword to Shishio-san. I just was not strong like Shishio-san, and it didn't really bother me that much.

Unfortunately, my family wasn't very impressed with an escaped convict living on their land. Noticing the missing bandages, and the fact that there was a criminal with burns all over his body loose in the area, I guess they put two and two together and came to the conclusion that I was behind it.

I guess I never saw it coming. Sure, they had short tempers and liked their sake a bit too much, but I never thought they'd resort to murder. Unfortunately, that's exactly what they planned for me.

'You little brat! How could you do this to us after all we've done for you!'

'There's a violent criminal loose, remember? Maybe the police will even give us a reward for reporting his death.'

'He's only the bastard son of a whore. Nobody's going to miss him anyway.'

They were serious! They were going to kill me, and place the blame on Shishio-san! Lightning slashed through the sky and I screamed in panic, running blindly.

'Help me! Anybody! SHISHIO-SAN, HELP!'

He didn't come. Of course he didn't. Someone like Shishio-san would never help a weak child like me. I sprinted to the space under the rice shed where I'd hidden the wakizatshi Shishio-san had given me. My youngest cousin followed me, crawling on his hands and knees. I clutched the sword, trembling. 'What do you got there? Is that a sword? My, it looks expensive. Let's take a look…'

He slowly pulled the sword from its sheath, leering at me. Shishio-san's words came back to me.

_Only the fittest survive in this world._

I gripped the handle of the sword, so tightly the bound leather cut into my palms.

'AYAAAAAGHhhh…'

Outside the rice shed, the rest of the family laughed. 'Was that Soujiro? What a pathetic scream. What else would you expect from a spineless bastard?'

I saw their faces as I pushed his dead body away from me. I saw as their faces changed from smug pleasure to horror as I raised the sword, dripping with blood in the rain. I can never forget how they died at my hand, begging for mercy that they never received.

Shishio-san watched me coldly as I stood numbly in the rain, sword now held limp and motionless at my side, drenched in the blood of my family. I tilted my head upward to receive the cool drops on my face.

'Soujiro… are you crying?'

I turned to Shishio-san with my frozen smile immobile on my face. 'No, Shishio-sama.'

He smiled cruelly back. Coming closer to me, Shishio-san beckoned for me to follow him and began walking.

'Shishio-sama… can I be stronger?'

'I will make you the strongest, Soujiro. Second only to myself.'

But in reality… I _was_ crying. I haven't cried since, but I've always felt guilty, terribly guilty about everything I've ever done. But I've never been able to express anything to anyone, and I've never felt inclined to try. Everything is just too painful… I get a headache just remembering my past. I've never been able to talk to anyone about it at all. But you, Misao-dono… you're different."

**-Misao-**

I smiled through my tears. Soujiro, you've been through so much! My entire life I've always wished I could have at least met my family… but poor little Sou-chan!

Soujiro brushed a tear from my cheek. "I'm sorry Misao-dono. I'll understand if you never wish to speak to me again."

This only made me cry harder. "Sou-chan no baka! There's nothing wrong with wanting to atone for the crimes of your past! Why won't you let anyone become close to you?"

He blinked furiously. "Sou… chan?"

I smiled shyly. "Sou-chan, have you ever had anyone cry for you? Maybe all you needed was a friend." I laced my fingers with his. "It's never too late to change."

He just looked at our hands as though in a daze, not even blinking. Suddenly without warning, he placed his hands on my shoulders and pulled me into his embrace.

"You're right Misao-dono… I have always wondered if my life would have been different if I had met someone with a good heart, instead of Shishio-san. But I can never resent him… if I hadn't met him, I never would have met you. Thank you for crying for me, Misao-dono. I owe you so much."

I pulled away and smiled, a bit confused but happy at the same time. "Sou-chan… call me Misao."

Soujiro beamed at me and hugged me again. "Thank you… Misao. I've always wanted a friend."

I sighed contentedly and melted in his embrace. Being friends with Sou-chan wasn't such a bad thing after all…

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Author's Note: Phew, I'm finally done. I stayed up until two writing this, so I hope you like it. Oh and REVIEW please? If you review I will telepathically send you and e-cookie. Or e-chocolate, whichever you prefer.


	6. I see the way you look at her

Author's Note: Whoa… a lot of _interesting _reviews. Sorry I've taken so very long to update, there's a lot of crap going on right now. Yes, I said crap. This has been the absolutely weirdest month ever… ooh, I forgot, I have some e-cookies to hand out!

Lady Luna: You get an extra special sugary cookie! Cuz you're ever-so swell!

Noname: Your e-cookie has lots of chocolate chips, cuz something tells me you like chocolate and stuff.

Smiley: O.O You like my writing? Are you on happy pills? Jk jk, but I like to flatter myself that I'm getting better at this whole fanfiction thing. Ten e-cookies for you!

That's all I have left… more next chapter, okay? If you do not receive your e-cookie, it's because I am sending them via telepathy and it's not always that reliable… but it's sure cheap!

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Soujiro beamed at me and hugged me again. "Thank you… Misao. I've always wanted a friend."

I sighed contentedly and melted in his embrace. Being friends with Sou-chan wasn't such a bad thing after all…

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

**-Soujiro-**

I greeted the day with a real smile for the first time in memory. Blinking drowsily in the bright morning sun, I spread out on my futon and decided to sleep in.

About an hour later I awoke to the sight of Okina-san leaning over me holding two copper pans.

"OH-hoho!" His little bow tickled my nose when he laughed, and I held back a sneeze. "Wake up, sleepy time is over now!"

CLASH, BANG, CLASH CLAASH!

I understand what the pans were for now. I scrabbled out of the futon, blinking furiously. I groaned. "Ugh, Okina-san? Would you mind… stopping now?" I cradled my poor head in my hands. Owowowowowoow…

I gathered up my clothes. "I'm up, I'm up Okina-san. I'll be down in a minute."

"Well hurry up, the breakfast crowd has already left, and those dishes won't wash themselves! OH-hoho!" He danced out the door.

I chuckled and began to get dressed.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Downstairs in the kitchen, I bumped into Misao. She beamed and me and greeted me with her cheerful smile. "Morning Sou-chan! Did you sleep well?"

"Yes. Better than I've slept in years."

She placed her delicate hand on my cheek. "Don't worry Sou-chan. You can stay in our Aoiya as long as you'd like."

I watched her flounce away, balancing a tea tray on her hip, and I couldn't control that funny feeling in my stomach again.

Hearing a sound behind me, I whipped around. It was Omasu-san, and she was laughing. "Sou-chan? That's simply adorable. You and Misao seem to be getting along nicely."

Shrugging, I turned away to cover my blush. "She has a good heart, Omasu-dono."

Walking closer to me, Omasu-dono placed both of her hands on my shoulders and looked deep into my eyes. I began to fidget uncomfortably, very unlike my normal behavior. "Soujiro, don't deny it. You are comfortable around our little Misao. I can only wonder as to why."

"I suppose we're just good as friends," I mumbled, averting my gaze from her sharply defined features.

She snorted. "Mm-hm. You two get along together very well. I must admit, it's surprising that Misao chose you as her friend. You hurt her beloved Aoshi."

I shifted uncomfortably at the memory.

"Misao doesn't know it, but she's fairly good at reading people. So it naturally it astonishes me is how close you two have become in such a short period of time. You and Misao may be the best of friends, but for her sake that's all you should be."

"I don't believe I understand you, Omasu-dono."

She shook her once sharply at me. "Soujiro, you really are a child. I see the way you look at her. Don't go getting crazy ideas in your head. Misao will only get hurt."

"But Omasu-dono, I – "

Before another word was said however, Omasu-dono turned and fiercely stomped away. Was she crying?

Shrugging it off, I headed to the kitchen to wash dishes.

**-Misao-**

I flounced off to visit Aoshi happily, balancing the tea tray on my hip. Normally he made his own tea in the morning, but I suppose he was still upset about Soujiro, and forgot. So as Aoshi-sama's faithful woman, I will bring his tea to him!

Tee-hee, I can see his face now. As I approach he will turn slowly at the noise. Aoshi-sama's eyes will widen in surprise at my entrance. He'll think to himself, 'Who is this beautiful woman, come to bring me my tea? Surely this can't be my Misao. This stunning girl certainly deserves my utmost attention and love!' He'll rise and cross the room, and look deep into my eyes. Aoshi will cup my face in his smooth fingers and lean in close…

Maa, there you go again, Misao! Stop daydreaming and pay attention! You don't want to trip again…

"AH!"

Well at least this time I didn't drop the tea tray. Jumping up, I dusted myself off quickly. Aoshi would be wondering about his morning tea by now.

I found Aoshi after only about ten minutes. Even though I'd done this before, I suddenly felt nervous. Then I realized that this was the first time I'd been alone with Aoshi since Soujiro had come to live among us. Please Aoshi-sama, don't be mad. Can't you see that you're more important to me than anyone else?

He barely even spared me a glance when I set his tea down before him. I kept trying to catch his eye, but no luck for poor Misao. Well, I've promised myself that today will be the day! Aoshi-sama will notice me, and there's nothing he can do about it! Sitting down beside him, I scootched in as close as I dared.

Nothing. Maybe he just hasn't seen me yet. I cleared my throat.

"Eh-hem."

Hm…

"Ah-HEM!"

Aoshi-sama turned to stare at me coldly. "May I help you, Misao?"

Nodding furiously, I jumped up and proceeded to ramble. "Well you see Aoshi-sama, I know you've been avoiding me ever since I've been hanging out with Soujiro, but can't you find it in your heart to at least accept that he is my friend now and I really do think he's changed, you should hear what he's been through it'll really get to you, man I was crying all over the place, but anyway can't you see how much you mean to me, I can't bear to not be able to be close to you and I – "

AHH! Wait, rewind and FREEZE! Great going Misao, you and your big mouth! Okay, think a cover… think Misao, think think think…

"Ah, what I mean is, um you see I…"

Aoshi-sama cut me off. "Misao, you haven't told me anything I didn't already know."

Was I really that obvious? "Aoshi-sama, I just want to be close to you so badly."

Only silence from Aoshi now. Misao no baka, what have you done!

Aoshi sighed loudly, and I jumped. "Misao, I'm going to be frank with you. You need to grow up."

"Wha-what? What are you saying, Aoshi-sama?"

He closed his eyes, and my body felt as frozen as his heart. "You a child, Misao. Grow up and face the facts. If I cared about you, would I have kept you waiting this long? You need to move on with your life."

The teacup I had been holding fell from my hands. My brain registered its fall, but my body couldn't move. Before it had hit the ground, I was gone. I wanted to be as far away from him as physically possible. I hated him, hated him, HATED him. But, I wouldn't be this in love if it wasn't meant to be, right? Aoshi, why don't you love me?

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Omasu, the ever-so-sneaky criminal mastermind of this particular story, was naturally close by. She snuck up behind Aoshi and loomed over his still crouching form.

"Why would you tell Misao something like that?"

"I don't want to lie to her, Omasu. It's not that complicated."

Omasu hesitated before speaking. She preferred to choose her words carefully in delicate situations. "Aoshi you lying butthead."

Aoshi didn't move a muscle. "You seriously did not just use the word butthead,"

Omasu tossed her hair impatiently. "That's beside the point. What I'd like to know is why you'd lie to Misao about how you feel. Don't deny it, Aoshi."

"I won't."

Omasu giggled. "OH-ho-ho. The plot thickens, methinks! Then why, Aoshi? I'm afraid I don't understand you."

Aoshi smiled sadly to himself, a rare moment of tenderness. "She doesn't deserve me. She's so young and naïve… she would love me just for me. It would be better if Misao forgot about me."

Omasu snorted. "So you're just going to leave Misao's heart broken?"

"It's better this way."

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

**-Soujiro-**

I stretched contentedly, embracing the late morning sun. Those customers sure know how to eat, what with all the dishes I had washed! My godlike speed certainly came in handy when it came to chores, at least. And now I had the whole rest of the day off to do whatever I wanted with myself. Hmm… I still had some money left from my travels. Maybe I'd ask Misao out to lunch.

I wonder what Misao would like best? I mean, she's been a great help and I really wanted to show my appreciation. But there was still one nagging thought I couldn't shake off…

_I see the way you look at her… _

I didn't understand. Misao had become very dear to me, but why should I regard her as anything but a friend? Parents would really come in handy right now…

The only people I'd ever had were the members of the Juppon Gatana, so I suppose Shishio-sama and Yumi-dono were sort of like my parents. They didn't talk about feelings or anything silly like that, especially to a Tenken like me. To them, I had no emotions.

Ack, this was getting me nowhere. Hey, but speaking of Yumi-dono… Shishio-sama definitely looked at her differently than the other members of the Juppon Gatana, but why? Kamatari-san used to say that she wished Shishio-sama would look at her in the same way, but I could never understand. While I may have had my emotions locked away inside, my curiosity had no such limitation. I couldn't help but question Kamatari-san at what she meant when she would say such strange things like that.

_"I'm afraid I don't understand you at all, Kamatari-san. Your words just don't make sense."_

_Kamatari laughed. "Well kiddo, you can't just explain a feeling like love. Not that you'd know anyway. In that sense Soujiro, I've always pitied you. You'll never know what it feels like, and no matter how painful it feels, I wouldn't give it up for anything in the world."_

I'd forgotten that memory, but for some reason I remember it now. My mind had been working strangely, like I couldn't figure out what emotions I should be feeling whenever I thought of Misao… even her name made me feel pleasantly sick. Her face made my whole self feel weird… agreeably tingly. It felt almost like… puberty! No, not again! AHH!

I mentally slapped myself. Baka Tenken, that's not possible.

_Love… _

Was this the feeling that Kamatari-san spoke of, that phrase that flutters inescapably through my memory like the spring firefly?

A noise. I turned to investigate and witnessed Misao stumbling toward me, her arms covering her face, shoulders shaking. She wasn't looking where she was going when her legs gave way.

**-Misao-**

Running blindly. Darkness in my chest, mind, eyes. Heart. I couldn't see anything through the veil of tears enshrouding my perception. Was it possible for the soul to bear so much agony?

My brain numbly registered my toe stub the protruding pebble, and my eyes opened just enough to see the ground come rushing closer. Instinctively I braced myself for a fall…

…that never came. Looking up, I found myself gazing into the blue orbs of Soujiro.

**-Soujiro-**

I held her as she cried silently. Crouching, I pulled her a close to me as I dared, rocking her slowly.

"Let it all out Misao. I'm here, I'm here…"

She snuggled closer to my warmth, her shaking reducing. Clutching my sleeves like a child, I found myself praying that she would never let go.

I let her cry until her sobs quieted to shuddering sighs. Pulling her gently away from me, I cradled her face in my hands and looked into her tear stained-eyes. It was just like last night… Misao was much too close. "Misao, what's wrong? Are you hurt?"

She nodded furiously, and I was filled with rage. "What has happened? Who hurt you? Are you alright!"

She smiled dryly. "I'm not hurt physically. But this pain in my heart…" She explained what happened, and I could feel my features tense as I became more and more outraged. "I don't think I can bear to live a life where Aoshi-sama doesn't love me. I'd rather die!" She flailed away from me, her tears flying in the air.

I can't accept this! Misao is so fragile… can't anyone else see how hurt she is? Grabbing her wrists I pulled her closer. "I now know there is truly evil in the world if anyone would bear to hurt you, my Misao. You are too pure."

She stiffened in surprise, but did not object to my embrace. After a few minutes, her shoulders relaxed into my arms and our breathing mingled. I'd never felt so at peace, or so disturbed before.

Her shaking eventually began to quiet. "Thank you Sou-chan. I really needed to talk about that. Between me and you, we talk about pretty screwed up things sometimes, huh?" She laughed, her smile lingering immense sadness. She pulled away and turned her back to me, and my arms longed to hold her again. "I just need to rethink my life a little bit. After all, I am a big part of the Oniwabanshu. I can't afford to be weak."

My stomach dropped as I watched her walk away from me. Misao, you are so strong… how can you see yourself as weak?

_Love… _

Omasu was right. I do look at Misao differently than any other. Misao wasn't the only one who needed to think right now. With a sigh, I headed to lunch by myself. Perhaps we could go some other time… just Misao and me. I smiled sadly to myself. Everything was so strange.

OOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Author's Note: Another superbly weird overly fast chapter. I know where I'm going with this, don't worry! MUA-HA HA, my friend was SO shocked when I told her what I have planned! EE hee hee! Til next time, I wuv you! And REVIEW, please?


	7. I believe in a thing called love

Author's Note: I've noticed the evilness of my plan intrigues you. Keep on guessing, it's not over yet, not by a long shot!

On a more serious note, I am here to officially announce that NO, there will not be a lemon in my story. The rating, for one, will not allow it. To one certain fan in particular, (you know who you are) may I suggest porno?

I am also now part of this AWESOME Sou/Mi fanlisting/site. It's the best one I've ever come across. It's really nice to see a bunch of people come together to celebrate my favorite pairing in any series! You can check it out if you want, it's at groups (dot) yahoo (dot) com / group / SouMi . Or you can click the link in my profile.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Omasu was right. I do look at Misao differently than any other. Misao wasn't the only one who needed to think right now. With a sigh, I headed to lunch by myself. Perhaps we could go some other time… just Misao and me. I smiled sadly to myself. Everything was so strange.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

**-Soujiro-**

The rest of my day passed uneventfully. I thought about Misao all throughout lunch, imagining our outing that never was meant to be. The whole day went miserably after seeing her face so disheartened. But what I couldn't understand was why she had been so terribly depressed. I know she cared about Aoshi-san, but what made him so different than anyone else to her? And don't I myself look at Misao differently than any other? There seemed to be a connection…

I remembered Omasu-dono's word from this morning. _Soujiro, you really are a child!_

All of a sudden it clicked. Love. Love! That's why Misao looks at Aoshi differently! She _loves_ him. And she was upset because Aoshi-san didn't love her in the same way. How very strange.

But didn't I see Misao differently than anyone else? How did I explain what I saw in her?

Could I really… love her? Like Misao loves Aoshi? Hypothetically speaking, let's say I do… like her. A lot. What if she… how could she…

Ugh! It's hopeless.

"What's the matter, dear?"

I wasn't looking where I was going, and I almost knocked over a flower saleswoman.

"I beg your pardon, ma'am?"

"What's the matter, dear? You look upset. Unlucky in love?" She cackled loudly, and I jumped.

"Well, not exactly… I mean, it's not really…"

"Oh, you need these more than I thought. Here." The woman handed me a dozen white roses. "On the house."

I barely remember thanking the flower woman, walking home, and putting the blossoms in a china vase I found in the kitchen. But I'll never forget putting the roses in Misao's room, imagining the look in her eyes when she found them.

**-Misao-**

Now that I knew the truth about Aoshi-sama, what was I supposed to do with myself? How was I expected to just forget about him? I still loved him; I believe I always will. I _know_ our love is real! He just… can't see it.

_You need to grow up, Misao._

Such hurtful words from the mouth of my beloved. Thinking about it now, I wondered how I could love him so much, when all he's ever seen in me is a child. No matter how much I try to change to please him, he will never love me. If he ever did, it would only be because I had changed myself to suit him. Would I be happy, having Aoshi-sama's love, if it meant becoming something I was not? Which was more important?

I opened my eyes. I was still here, alone, sitting on a tree on the outskirts of Kyoto. The sunset… it was beautiful. To think, if today had turned out differently, if I'd just tried a little harder, I might be here watching the sun's petal soft rays caress Aoshi-sama's cheek, as it descended in to dusk.

Now I know I'm miserable, getting so poetic like that. It must be true love… it has to be.

I scrubbed my hands through my hair and across my moist eyes. I'd probably feel better in the morning. Hopping down from the tree, I landed awkwardly on my ankle.

"Ouchies." No silly little rurouni caught me this time. I found myself saddened by that thought. He really was just a baka, that Sou-chan. How he held me in my most dire moment back at the Aoiya… I really couldn't ask for a better friend.

I've gotta remember to thank him later. Right now, I just want to get back home and get some sleep, though my 'sleep' would most likely consist of me tossing and turning until dawn.

I made it back as the last beams of the fallen sun were disappearing. Opening the door to my room, a sweet scent caught my attention.

Oh! Roses!

The most striking bouquet of white roses sat by my bed. Could it be… Aoshi-sama? Practically sprinting toward them, I suddenly hesitated before sinking to my knees to read the card.

"_Misao—_

_I will always be there for you._

_—Sou-chan"_

I cradled that little slip of paper in my two hands as if it were made of glass, gently placing it on my dresser. I knew I would treasure it always. Soujiro was really so very kind, and I knew I was lucky to have met him. No one could ask for a better friend in the entire world. Perhaps I wouldn't have so much trouble sleeping, after all.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

I woke up feeling strangely refreshed, considering the mass confusion that was my life at the moment. Turning on my side I saw the white roses facing me, and felt a real smile work its way onto my frozen face. At least I still had a friend.

I got up and quickly dressed, running a comb through my tangled hair. It felt sort of nice to have it around my shoulders, though I'd never admit it. Usually I'd have Omasu or Okon braid it (Okina even did it once, though he put a million of those stupid bows he wears all over it), but they were already working in the kitchens by now. I'd ask them to do it later tonight. Right now I wanted to find Soujiro.

I found him drawing water from the well in the back. He greeted me with his usual smile.

I smiled back, surprisingly timid. "Hey Sou-chan, I just wanted to say…" He tilted his head questioningly in the most annoying way. How dare he have this effect on me! I'll show him, nobody makes Misao Makimachi feel awkward unless _I_ say so!

Springing forward, I grabbed the back of his neck toward me so that our lips touched. I was surprised however, at the faint pressure I felt on my own lips when I realized he wouldn't resist me.

Oh no Misao, what have you done now! Your friendship with Soujiro is now officially over. I skittered back ungracefully.

Soujiro's face on the other hand hadn't changed in the slightest. "I suppose you really like white roses, then?"

I laughed, realizing he wasn't mad. I gave him a quick hug and play-punched his arm. "You're such a good friend, Sou-chan. I don't deserve you." I sighed, becoming serious. "I really am grateful to you right now, Sou-chan. This whole mess with…you know. I'm glad I met you. Maybe my guardian angel sent you to me, to be my friend when I was hurting. Thank you, Sou-chan."

"MIIIIISAO! Where are you, girl! It's packed in here this morning!"

"Oh! That'll be Okon. I've wasted too much time this morning! See you around, Sou-chan!" I skipped off contentedly.

"Misao, wait!"

"Hm?" I turned back to face Soujiro, my loose hair brushing my face.

He was silent for a few seconds, and I resisted the urge to yell at him to hurry up.

He must have seen my impatience. "It's just I…" Well! "You should wear your hair down more often, Misao. It looks nice."

I smiled at Soujiro. He really was a good guy. "Thank you."

I turned and ran toward the dining room. Soujiro was so kind to try to cheer me up like that with flattery.

But if it was just flattery, why did he blush so when I smiled?

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

**-Soujiro-**

The rest of the day passed smoothly. There was a large crowd visiting the Aoiya today, so we were all kept busy. All of us except for Aoshi-san, I noticed. He was nowhere to be found. After questioning Omasu, she just shrugged and replied, "He doesn't like to work, I think he believes the tasks at the Aoiya too menial."

I came to dislike Aoshi-san more and more. Especially after seeing the look on Misao's face after she found out his true feelings. Misao, I know you are genuinely strong. While I hide my painful memories behind a façade of smiles, you continue to live your life day by day. How could you not see it?

Misao had called me her friend. Even after that kiss… what had she meant by it? I hoped for something more than friendship, but perhaps she doesn't realize how I feel about her. I wonder if she knows that she bestowed upon me my first kiss.

Mostly what I remembered of the kiss was her smell. Weird, ne? With her hair cascading around her shoulders, the intoxicating scent of her shampoo was all around me. I wonder if she does it on purpose.

I shook my head to clear it. Misao was just my good friend. _A very good friend_, I thought as I remembered just a few days ago when we had first met. I thought her a child, but I couldn't help but notice how her thin ninja outfit clung to her supple, muscular frame in the rain…

I mentally slapped myself. She's just a friend, no matter how cute she may be. Misao has shown no sign of anything more than that.

Unless… what if she was hiding her feelings, just like I was hiding mine? Maybe all Misao needed was signs of my affection. Not the greatest of schemes, but what do you expect? I've never been on a date, never kissed a person of the opposite gender romantically. (Fortunately for me, Kamatari-san does not count). Alright then, I'd just keep things at a minimum for now, but I will provide Misao the utmost of affections possible. Now I just had to figure out how to be affectionate…

And so, Operation "Sou's Brilliant Plan" begins.

**-Misao-**

I am still amazed that no one at the Aoiya (aside from Sou-chan) has learned of what Aoshi-sama said to me. Normally I can't hide anything from them. For a ninja, I'll admit I'm not the sneakiest of maidens.

No, I think what surprises me more is I'm not really upset. Kind of crushed, but not as much as I should be. In fact I feel sort of… free. I think getting all of my false hopes, and doubts, cleared up was good for me, in a twisted way. I've been carrying their burden since I was a small child.

Naturally I was disappointed. Who wouldn't be? I expected to feel lost or angry, but again, I feel liberated. The world was full of boundless opportunities I've never even dreamed to explore!

I spun around happily, the dust rags clasped in my hand showering me with sparkling flecks. Even dirt looks beautiful! My psycho dance carried me around the Aoiya, and I smelled the perfect cherry blossoms flowering. Their scent reminded me of a sweeter smell, the fragrance of white roses. I smiled to myself. Aoshi be damned, I was my own woman now!

'MISAO! Have you finished dusting! And we're out of water, would you please draw some from the well?"

"ALRIGHT GRAMPS! I'm almost done with the dusting!" I'm such a liar. My happy little dust jig had made the place dirtier than ever. "Stupid Jiya, always ordering me around… who exactly does he think the Okishira of the Oniwabanshu is! I'll show him one day, I'll string him up by his little pink bow…" Still muttering, I dropped the dusty rags in the middle of the floor and stomped off to fetch the water. I'd finish this mess later.

As I walked, dust spilled from my long hair. Sure, it looked better down but it was much less practical. I shook my head furiously and laughed at the mess it made. Sighing, I dusted my hands off. The customers needed their tea, and they wouldn't want to wait for a silly girl to play in the dirt. I grasped the rope and pulled…

…and almost fell in the well! All that rain we'd gotten lately had made the well overly full, and I was having a lot of trouble getting the bucket out. Propping both my feet against the wooden well frame, I pulled until my shoulders popped. "MmMmmMmmpPHh!" Now I was actually propped a foot off of the ground, straining my arms off. I gasped, dropping the rope in defeat. This would _never_ work!

Nonsense, Misao! You are leader of the proud and elite Oniwabanshu ninja group! Once more now girl… I grabbed the rope again, tugging with all my might. Sweat popped out from my forehead and my muscles burned in pain, but I would not drop that rope again!

All of a sudden the rope began to move. I looked up, surprised to see Sou-chan pulling up the rope as if it was the easiest thing in the world.

We drew the water in a comfortable silence. Wiping the sweat from my forehead, I gave Soujiro my biggest grin. "Phew, that's harder than it looks. Thanks for your help, Sou-chan."

He gave me his usual smile. "Any time." He ran his fingers through my hair, and I smiled to myself. "My Misao, you look like you just lost a cleaning battle with the Aoiya's dust bunnies."

My mouth formed a small 'o'. "Well, you might say that…"

He laughed, and my smile widened. "Actually I sort of saw you dusting."

"Hey Sou-chan, you should laugh more often. It sounds really cute." My smile changed to anger as I registered his last comment. "Wait… you were spying on me!"

He smiled his baka rurouni smile that I'd come to know well. "Ara Misao, I just happened to…"

"PERVERT!" I shrieked, swiping at his head. He ducked behind me, and I blinked startled at his sudden move. I turned to see him laughing again.

Preparing to scream at him again, I was shocked into silence at a pair of gentle fingers pinching my nose. Soujiro smiled sheepishly. "Relax Misao. You looked adorable."

He turned back to the Aoiya whistling to himself, leaving me with my mouth hanging open and laughter all over my face.

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Aoshi Shinomori's eyes were cold, more so than his usual cool detachment. From his perch overlooking the Aoiya, he had observed everything. And he was not pleased with what he had seen. Aoshi was not a man of many outbursts, but he had trouble controlling himself as he watched Misao completely at ease with the Tenken. Aoshi had promised himself that he would not become part of Misao's life, for her sake, but he would do everything in his power to protect her happiness. If Seta showed ay sign of becoming too friendly with her, well… let's just say that wouldn't do at all.

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Soujiro-

The next two weeks passed like a pleasant dream. Misao, and myself, became quite famous around Kyoto, though I'm not sure if that was such a good thing… Here's a word for the wise: do NOT let an attractive ninja leader get involved in any schemes involving bees. I still shudder at the whole thing, and find myself jumping any time a flying insect comes too close. Let's just say it was messy, and I have no intention of reliving any of it for your sake, thank you, so keep on guessing.

I was patient with my affections for Misao. Mostly I was just kind to her. Our relationship was simple, but beautifully so. We were friends, and I was happy just to be close to her. I didn't want to push anything. But sometimes, when I'd lie awake in the middle of the night, my mind would wander…

What if…?

I would not make the first move. First of all, I had zero experience. Secondly, I didn't want to reopen old scars. Though she never let it show again, I knew she must have been hurt deeply by Aoshi-san. Misao didn't need any more complications, so I would preserve her remaining happiness as it is now.

It amazes me how much I've learned by living here for less than three weeks. My eyes have been opened more in this short period of time than all the time I was wandering alone. Remembering it now, I realize I was desperately lonely. In that sense Misao saved my life.

However, I still had many doubts. What if she wasn't, you know… the one? What if our meeting was just pure chance? Perhaps we're only meant to be friends. I was also worried that I had fallen too hard too fast. Maybe I was just so eager to be loved, I jumped into the arms of the first attractive woman that came my way.

But then again, what if it was real? What if I blow it, or something happens? Is there only one true love meant for every person? One mistake, and it's game over? I sincerely hope not. What if she doesn't love me back? If I tell her, what if she laughs, or rejects me? Even worse, what if she's disgusted? Who would want to even think of loving a killer, albeit a retired one?

So I didn't push it. If I only had one chance, I didn't want to spoil it. And if I wasn't meant to be, I don't want to make the mistake of interpreting it wrongly.

I knew with my doubts and fears crawling around in my soul, I couldn't keep living with her like I was. There would be a final campaign, I was sure.

I hummed a sad tune as I dried dishes in the kitchen. The sun was setting, and with it my uneasiness grew. I thought of Aoshi, wondering what he would think of me courting Misao. Most likely he'd try to decapitate me with those Double Kodachis he always carried. I still hadn't asked for my weapon back, and I had every intention of letting it rust on its abandoned kitchen shelf forever. Speaking of Aoshi-san, it dawned on me how infrequently I saw him around. He left early, presumably to meditate on that hill of his, and came in late. I was pretty sure he took his meals in his room, so at least I didn't have to deal with his piercing glare while trying to enjoy my dinner.

No, I think I liked my form of misuse of emotions much better. At least I didn't look angry all the time. Just sort of… blank.

I definitely did notice changes, however. I laugh with sincerity every day now. And the smile I wear feels good to me. Like its there because I want it to be, not because I believe I have to force it. It feels genuine. My previous smile I regard as a lie. A lie that was quite literally written all over my face.

Yes, I was much happier. But I wondered how long my happiness could last. One wrong move and I could wind up in a very bad situation.

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It was no mere coincidence Soujiro hadn't seen Aoshi Shinomori around. When a member of the Oniwabanshu doesn't want to be seen, most likely they're not found very easily. Needless to say, Seta hadn't shown any sign that he felt Aoshi's presence. Considering everything that had been going on in his head, and the fact that he was a bit rusty, it wasn't surprising.

"Tenken… what are you planning?"

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Author's Note: If anybody can guess the name of the band that sings the song I based this chapter's title on, I will give them a hug. About halfway done with the story now, I believe. Whoo-hoo! Some big things coming up, so don't flake on me now! The evilness of my scheme is yet to be revealed…

Bwa ha.


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